just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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