good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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