you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
