i need an iv and a liver transplant
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
