I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
