pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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