Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
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