I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
