I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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