the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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