Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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