I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
