carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
