im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
