If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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