Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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