I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
