the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
