It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
