You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
