they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
