He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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