So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
