i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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