That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
