Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
