Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
