The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
