Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
me + whiskey = a bad person
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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