Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
