Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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