she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
from now on my penis is your penis
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize