fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
