ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
