Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
