ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
