Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
