Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She's the barista slut.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize