how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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