at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
