i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
