He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
