You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
