is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
