So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
