The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
