quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
