I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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