someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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