I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
