I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
