She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
