He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got inside last night via doggy door
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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