and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
