No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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