I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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