I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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