id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
