What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
