I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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