okay pat passed out under dana's car
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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