Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
