There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
this is an emotional support booty call
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
